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Category : Living with Depression

11 Jun 2017

I’m straight struggling, here

Don’t know where I’m going
I just keep on rowing
I just keep on rowing
Gotta row

21 Oct 2016

Sometimes I feel like I’m swimming upstream through a muddy river of my own blood and guts fighting to keep from going over the falls which empty into some forever dark, misty abyss.  Upstream my sanity hangs crucified from the side of a giant, rusted gate, the only opening in a miles long fence made from steam punk metal.
Carvings of all my failed dreams create a grid styled in paisley tattoo on the sweating fence panels.  Inside dwells the remnants of a carnival struggling to hold onto the appearance of festive.
My heart cannot hide from the pain as I succumb to the darkness again.

Another low settles in.

15 Oct 2016

I wish someone could listen to this song and understand me

Sometimes I think the pain blows my mind

13 Oct 2016

I’ve been in this depressed malaise since June. It has held me back from doing so many ideas of projects that I decided that I should do. Laying here in my bed recovering from yesterday’s medical emergency so very frustrated over what I haven’t even started. Praying for strength. 

24 Aug 2016

human is hard work.

I know that you wish that you knew me better.  It shows in all those conversations that we don’t have.

20 Apr 2016

I don’t like myself right now.  It’s not a question of self-love, but more of a feeling that I’m not being the person that I want to be right now.  It’s problematic to me and I’m frustrated because of it.

29 Jan 2015

I am

I am alive. I am here. I am trying. That is enough

17 Dec 2014

The fear of losing your darkness

“Creative people oftentimes get attached to their darkness, especially if they use it to draw inspiration for their work.”

19 Oct 2014

Trying…

The bicycle trip for repair tools took a lot out of me. Consequently, I was left without enough strength to finish repairing my truck today. The frustration is overwhelming, but I’m trying…