Sorry to disappoint you

This is going to disappoint you. I might even get unfriended over this, so here goes.

Halloween and costumes and dress up parties and scary things to celebrate.. to me, it’s meh.  I don’t care about it.  Doesn’t do anything for me.  I wish I didn’t have to put up with some of it (in terms of people often talking about it and memes and such). Yeah, yeah, I know, sure, just look away.  Having to hide and skip over many posts from people I do want to follow gets to be a bit annoying.  The price I pay.

Ya see Halloween is a celebration of things scary and ghoulie.  Spare me the social studies lesson on the history and origins of Hallowed Eve’s.  That doesn’t change how y’all celebrate it.  Things scary too often are about things threatening to life and counter to life.  Blood and guts and things evil get people all happy.  Especially the blood thing.  Messy as it is.  Harrumph!

That doesn’t jibe with me because if there is one thing that I am about and celebrate it’s life.  Life without pain, fear and suffering.  Life abundantly.  Life uplifting, growing and productive.  Life supporting one another.  Life making this world a wonderful place to be.  Twist it how you will, but ghouls and scary monsters ain’t about that.  Instead it’s the opposite.  Not something I dig.

So there’s that.

Dressing up and celebrating is life.  Yeah, it can be.  Somehow it just doesn’t impress me.  Miss me with all the costumes and stuff that goes with it.  Doesn’t excite me.  I dunno.  Been there done that kind of thing?  Maybe.  It could be lack of interest due to a lifetime spent on not being myself, hiding what’s inside so as not to scare others or offend or run them off.

I’ve wasted most of my life narrating to myself a fantasy of living a life much more to my liking.  I have a huge imagination.  Had it all my life.  Fantasy and haunting tales don’t impress me.  I’ve made that stuff up all my life, keeping it to myself because hardly anyone is sincere about wanting to know what’s inside me.  I’ve kind of closed the door on working for that.

Suffice to say I’m misunderstood by even my closest of friends and family.  As much as I talk on FB, I still don’t discuss what’s deep inside much.  I’ve never met a person who really wants to know who won’t change towards me if I really said what I’m thinking.  I wonder if that’s why I write a hundred times better than I speak.

There you have it.  I don’t care about your dress up, ghoulie holiday.  Does nothing for me and I spend much of this month holding back from what I really want to say.

Sorry to disappoint you.

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