Film at eleven

I make no secrete of my struggles with depression.  Sometimes I think I’m too vocal about it giving the impression that I’m whining while wallowing in my misery.  I’m not sure how to be better about it, but I’m vocal for a few reasons.  The biggest is to let others who are struggling with mental health know that I can relate to them giving them someone they can talk to.  This writing isn’t about all that, so let me get to the news.

A few weeks back I was seeing my psychiatrist and I confessed that I felt that the medication he had me on wasn’t strong enough.  I’m on the highest amount that I can take (venlafaxine), so he decided to add another medication.  I’m not happy about having to take daily medication as it is. Here comes another pill to add to the pile. *sigh* Well, I’m pretty trusting of my doctors and if he wants me to take something else, too.  I’m good with that. 

He gave me a prescription for bupropion and I went about my way hating how my health has fallen.  It has taken so much from me and limited me at times when I used to be able to handle like no big deal.  Times have changed.

Medication arrived in two days (did you know they can mail this stuff now-a-days?) and the new guy was awarded a place in the cabinet with the rest of my daily pills.  🙄 Started taking it as prescribed.

I was in a good mood and keeping busy working, so I really didn’t pay close attention to how my depression was playing with me.  I was on my way home from work feeling somewhat lonely and misunderstood as usual when I noticed a difference.  Typically, when I get home from work my depression lands on me like an elephant, but this time while making the trip I had mental energy.  I didn’t feel emotionally drained and when I walked in my house no elephant!  The new prescription was working.

For the last two years my depression has been working on me hard and I have been struggling so much.  I always felt like there was this heavy cloud weighing down my mind suffocating my spirit.  My thoughts always had a slight touch of fussiness. Things are not so fuzzy, now.  As a matter of fact it feels brighter.  The heavy cloud of depression is gone!  I’m so thankful!

To be real I’m still struggling with depression.  I still feel down about things and still tend to trip and fall into a low.  It’s just now I have much more energy.  I’m not always tired and listless.  I find my mind getting excited when I think about things I want to accomplish.  I can actually will myself into getting out of bed and doing things like laundry, cleaning and creative projects that have been collecting dust.  I’m able to fight back against depression. 

This is exciting!

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Isa peraldi

2 months ago

I am so happy for you Kevin amd you are so brave

Staci Lynn

2 months ago

So relieved and hopeful to read this! Having that mental energy to push through makes a huge difference in quality of life, as you are beginning to find out! Very thankful for your relief!

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Living with Depression