I know I’m not going to make it. I know that I won’t be finishing the journey with you.
I’ve already been pushed around and shoved away every time I tried to speak up.
I’ve already been disregarded, thought of as just some faceless old man from the internet blabbering about nothing he knows anything about.
I’ve already failed when I tried to reach out and pull others up.
Most importantly I’m infirm and poor. No meaningful value to the masses pro or con. At some point my body will get sacrificed in the war. I’ll end up like one of those dead carcasses we see on the side of the road all bloated and stiff from rigor mortis, flies buzzing around.
I realize that sounds all very ugly. A vision my close loved ones refuse to consider. I apologize for upsetting you, but if you know me to be anything you know I’m honest, unafraid to speak the truth – however one perceives it.
I could offer up the romantic version and just say I’ll lose my life fighting for the cause, but I ain’t got much left to fight with. The young and the strong will beat me down easily. My only hope is that at some point in my life I was successful at passing on a spark of inspiration to someone who is able to bring it to enough of a flame to stay warm and live on.
As of now I’m just trying to keep on marching and fighting the good fight. So when I stand before my ancestors again they will be proud and tell me job well done.
~ Kayelless ~